Job Thoughts

I'm loving my job more everyday. It's hard to say why. I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be right now. It'd strange how life turns around on you. For four years I worked in the same position at my old job never thinking about moving up. I look back at those years and I can admit to myself that I want to move up in position but was afraid to leave the safety of the familiar. After a short failed attempt at being a custumer service rep for a wireless phone company and desperate for any work I stumbled upon my current workplace. I never intended to stay here. I was just here until I found something better. From entry level employee to assistant manager in less than half a year. It's hard to wrap my head around it sometimes.

We're open for business!

We started late after having some problems with a mixer and the ovens but at 4pm we were rolling pretzels and by 4:30pm we were selling them to the line of people that didn't stop for two hours. I feel happy.

Sleep now cause tomorrow is going to be a long and busy day.

I may have outed myself

So this guy who is like very important in the company that owns the store I work in has been around the past couple of days because of the pretzel store construction and opening on Friday. Yesterday he saw my transgender pendent necklace and asked what the symbol on it was. I told him it was the symbol for transgender but he didn't know what that was and work came up so I didn't get to explain.

Now I'm afraid I've outed myself in a less than optimal way. My only hope in not being outed is for him to forget about it and not find out what transgender is due it the opening of the new store. I'm feeling a little scared that this is going to blow up and I'm going to lose my job.

Why did I tell him the truth? He gave me an out when he asked. He asked me, "What is the signifigants of this? If you don't mind me asking." I could have blown him off. I could have lied. I could have said anything but instead I told the truth. So, why? Because he asked. I see hundreds of people in a day. None of them ask. I work with the same ten people. Only a couple have asked and I told them too. I think I'm tired of living a lie. The me everyone knows, it's me but it's me filtered through the lie of being a man.

Part of me hopes he does look up transgender. Part of me hopes that I don't lose my job. Part of me hopes that I can become all of me instead of being just a part of me.

Busting makes me feel good!

So I've been in a bit of a depressive funk for like the past week. I'm still kind of feeling like nothing is good or right but it's getting better.

Today I cashed my check which was a little bigger than normal due to the four days of training in Beaumont giving me some overtime. I decided to treat myself by buying a new game, something I very rarely due. Normally I wait for the price to drop and buy a used copy.

I ended up buying four games. I bought the new Ghostbusters game, Mirror's Edge, Gears of War and Bioshock. Gamestop is having a buy two used games get one free so Bioshock didn't cost me anything.

The first game I put in my X-Box when I got home was Ghostbusters. This game captures the feel of the movies perfectly. The story feels right, the voice acting is great and the game play is fun. It is loads of fun blasting ghosts, grabbing them and stuffing them in a trap. I have even been spooked while playing this game. I got to fight the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man in the first level! The second level takes you back to New York Public Library to hunt down the ghost from the opening of the first movie. Besides feeling like a third movie I'm getting some vibes of the animated show.

I'll probably give the other three games a play in the next few days.

Update

The past few days I've started writing a post and then half way through it I just feel like it's just meaningless drivel. So I'm keeping this real short.

So I've been back home for a few days now. I learned plenty and can't wait to open the pretzel store here.

More and more I feel like I need to come out at work.

I put the AC on the window and am now enjoying the coolness at nights.

Um not much else going on. I'll try to update againg before the end of the week.

Here in Beaumont

I am currently enjoying the free wireless Fairfield Inn provides it's guests.

I and another employee from the store rode up with our regional manager. The drive up was mostly uneventful except for the two near accidents we had. First right outside of Victoria a man almost ran us off the road when he changed lanes right in front of us. We were in his blind spot but he should have looked before changing lanes. Later outside of Houston we were following a big truck and noticed papers flying out of the back occasionally. Suddenly an entire trash bag flew out and landed in front of the car. With no time to swerve at all my manager ran over the bag. When I looked back I didn't see the bag so we pulled over to free the bag. The act of stopping freed the bag and then we were on our way.

After checking in to our hotel we went to the mall the pretzel store we are going to be training at is in. L(the other employee from my store) and I only stayed a couple of hours before leaving to get something from the food court. We then walked around for a little while before meeting back up with C(our regional manager) and coming back to the hotel. Tomorrow the three of us will be running the pretzel store by ourselves.

Not much else going on at the moment. See ya later.

Oh yeah, according to everyone around me I have not stopped smiling all day.

One more day till I leave for Pretzel U. I'm so syced that I when I think about what I'm going to be doing next week I get a big cheesy smile. I've got just a few things to take care of like washing some clothes and buying an alarm clock to take with me. I'm not sure if there'll be one in the hotel or motel we're staying in. The last hotel I stayed in ten years ago(yeah I'm not big on traveling) didn't have one, they did have a wake up service but I think I would rather use an alarm clock. I need to get a new one anyways since the alarm in mine has stopped working. The clock part is fine, it's just the alarm part that's busted.

Besides the clothes I'll be wearing, which I'll be packing in my new duffel bag, I'll also be taking in my backpack:

netbook,
MP3 player,
Palimpsest,
Alias HC(this is an awesome comic series by Brian Michael Bendis),
generic pain relivers(I sometimes get headaches when I travel),
cellphone and charger,
hair elastics,
vitamin supplements,
disposable razors and shaving cream,
and other toiletries.

Well I've some how stayed up all night and the sun is rising. I think I will forgo sleep in this day cycle and crash early tonight. This will hopefully have the beneficial side effect of resting my sleep cycle to normal hours.

Since this may be my last post for a week I will say. "See you all in a week."

Advice needed!

So the other day I was going through my browser history looking for a webpage when I saw some entries for redtube. For those not in the know redtube is like youtube but for porn. Now I will not deny having gone there in past but not on the day that I was looking at in the history. After looking at the times and date I realized that on that day I had left my netbook at hone for my niece to type up a paper, because her laptop was on the fritz.

In Chrome opening a new tab displays your top nine most visited sites. While helping her mother look up something on my niece's laptop I noticed redtube was on the new tab page. I asked my niece to come help me with something in another room and told her what I had seen. Then I gave her tips on how to hide her viewing habits better and told her I wouldn't tell her mom.

Now I'm wondering if I made the right call. I'm thinking I should have a sit down conversation about safe sex with her to be sure she has good info. I am conflicted about not telling her mom. Should I tell her? I'm really unsure what her reaction would be.

Pretzel Training Trip Is A Go

So on Monday I and another employee, who has not been determined yet, will leave with our regional manager to Houston and return on Thursday as pretzel making masters. I am very excited about this trip. I've never been on a trip like this where everything was paid for by the company I worked for. Of course I've never been an assistant manager about to be placed in charge of a new store either. I feel like I've reached a new level in the game of life.

I'm unsure if I'll have internet access while in Houston so this blog might go silent for the week. If that happens I'll keep a daily diary that I can post when I get back.

I am so sorry/ Not dead

For any that saw my 'farewell' post I'm sorry. I wrote it like a month ago during a period of depression. I really don't know what I was thinking other than I wanted to be able to say goodbye if I did something or something happened. Yeah really messed up reasoning. I'm feeling much better than I was when I wrote that.

I'm very sorry for any distress this may have caused you.

Star Trek Afterthoughts

After watching a bootlegged copy of the new Star Trek movie Sunday night I decided to see the movie properly in the theater at least once. Today my niece and I went to see it. My niece is not a Trek fan but having seen the movie I thought she might like it and I personally like cultivating her inner geek. After the movie she told me that she had been confused at first but as the movie unfolded she caught what was going on. Her take on the movie as a whole was, "That was awesome!"

I would agree that the movie was awesome. Characters were spot on, the effects were grin inducing and I liked the story that was told.

Now one minor complaint.

I have a slight problem with how the female members of Starfleet are dressed. Nothing wrong with the minidress that 99% of them wear except that it isn't realistic. Why would a military organization have a different duty uniform for women? They wouldn't. The minidress uniforms are an artifact of a tv series that aired in the late 60's. Later series and movies did away with the different duty uniforms for males and females. So why is it in this movie? It feels very out of place considering that during the opening scenes, set twenty fiveish years earlier, there was nary a skirt to be seen. Skip forward 25 years storywise and suddenly every female Starfleet member is in a skirt. To make matters even stranger, I know I saw at least one female crew member wearing pants and a regular tunic. This makes it seem like given the choice between pants and a minidress, 99% of women would chose the dress. Yikes. Can anyone say big step backward?

I'm just saying they took the time to realize the old bridge looked outdated, so they changed it to look much more advanced but couldn't apply the same logic to the the female minidress uniform.

Despite that minor irritant I really enjoyed the movie and would highly recommend it.