Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Mood: Been having a depression/anxiety episode since Friday night. Or maybe the high from getting my own place has worn off. Something like that.

What I've been doing: Friday I didn't go home and watch Lars and the Real Girl. I stayed at Hasting's and really caught up on my feeds and read a bunch of blogs. I ran into a link to a blog claiming "transgenders" bring down "transsexuals". This is such HORSESHIT. It's transphobic and, and just Fuck Them! Sorry but that's the best I can do for a coherent response to that kind of bile. I hate that it gets to me like this. Reading that stuff makes all my doubts and fears go crazy. I wish I was more self-assured. I wish I had more confidence.

Saturday I got through work in a daze and then went home.

Sunday, my day off, I stayed home most of the day. I made sweet rice and ate it while watching Despicable Me. Then I filled my tub up and relaxed in the water for a while. Later I washed my clothes. I watched Lars and the Real Girl before going to bed. It was a good day off.

Monday after work my parents were in the city so I went with them to buy groceries. It was nice to spend time with them. They bought me a dish strainer. They also had a toaster for me but it wasn't new and some sodas.

Today I did something I feel good about. My coworker asked me what my necklace meant. I said it was the symbol for transgender. She asked me what that was and after thinking for a second I said, "It's when a person's gender doesn't match their sex." Which isn't the best definition but it's not terrible. She asked a couple of more questions. In the end she thank me for telling her what it meant. I feel good that I helped inform someone and I didn't brush her off when she asked about my necklace. I've fallen into the habit of doing that lately.

Writing Progress: I worked on chapter 3.

What I've been watching: Lars and the Real Girl and Despicable Me. Will do write ups tomorrow.

Reading: Tales of Mu

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