Ok so I'm two days late with this post.
Anyways, during the time I was trying to decide whether or not to call the guy who called me at work(see my last entry for full details, also thank you Krystal for your comment it helped me a lot) I started thinking about how I felt about that kind of attention. Did I like it? At first I thought yeah it's nice to be noticed but then I started to think about what that guy had noticed. He had looked at me and based solely on my looks decided to call me at work and try and arrange a meeting. At first while I was still thinking about calling him I thought about asking him for a photo so I could know who he was. Then I started thinking about whether or not we were even compatible. Would he mind I was transgender? What would he say if I told him I wasn't gay but bi? What if he wasn't a geek/nerd?
Seriously that last one worried me the most. And at some point the thought popped into my head what if he just wants sex? And I had to think about that. Did I want to have sex with a semi-random stranger who called me cute? No I did not. My thoughts kept churning and soon I was wondering if I wanted to have sex at all.
Somehow I ended up on the troper tales page for asexuality. I started reading and I found myself identifing with some of the stories there. I found a link to Asexual Visibility and Education Network and did some more reading and well I think you can see where this is headed. I am still reading and examining my own feelings but I think I am asexual.
Now to forestall any blank stares I'm going to do a little explaining, keep in mind I'm still a newbie so you might want to check out AVEN for more complete info.
So What does it mean to be asexual? Well in basic terms it means a person is not sexual attracted to anyone. Sexual attraction being defined as wanting to have sex with another person. This does not preclude romantic feelings for others.
So I am now identifying as bi-romantic(attracted to both sexes but not for sex) transgender asexual. I have more thinking to do and will likely post more in the future.
This Week's Calogrenant
4 days ago