4-26-11

Mood:  Today I feel okayish.  Almost neutral but I can feel an undercurrent of negative emotions in the back of my head.  Sunday after I got home from our family's Easter get together, I crashed emotionally, curled up on my bed and passed out for a couple of hours before getting up and taking my clothes to wash.

Happenings:  I'm still working on the Film Club t-shirt.  I'm going to try to finalize the design tonight.  I'll be working on the film for Haven the rest of the week and weekend.  Part of me feels bad about waiting until the last two weeks before it needs to be done but it's hard for me to dedicate myself to a project that has too much time left before the deadline.

I met with the woman who's roommate is getting married and moving out.  We seem to be compatible as roommates and maybe friends in time.  The friend who recommended her to me came along to ease to awkwardness.  The three of us went on short nature walk, ate at Double Dave's and then saw African Cats.  So we ended up spending about seven hours together.

Media:  I've started playing Deadspace.  I'm playing about two hours a night.  So far the game is very good.

Writing:  I've given up on Script Frenzy.  I don't have the mental energy right now to do it.

~Gilly

3-3-11

I wrote this Thursday but didn't get to post it until today(Sunday).

So I missed yesterday's promised post due to getting caught up reading my feeds and then attending the Haven meeting and then wanting to get home before it got to late.

Mood: I feel a lot better than I have been feeling. Part of it is that during the past week I've been making sure I get plenty of sleep. Being tired doesn't make it any easier for me to deal with depressive episodes which is something that I sometimes forget. My mood still feels a little fragile like it wouldn't take much for me to fall back into hopeless despair. Hopefully I'll start feeling more stable for a while at least.

Health: I've been well except for last night when I woke up because I felt some fluid draining from my nose. I wiped it with my hand and saw nothing but clear fluid. I wiped it again and this time my hand came away from my face with blood on it. I grabbed the bridge of my nose and stopped the blood flow while walking to the bathroom for toilet paper. My nosebleed stopped quickly and I when back to sleep.

The blood came from the same nostril as the nosebleeds I had three weeks ago (noted in post 2-11-11). Around the last time my nose was bleeding spontaneously it was still cold. It has been a little cooler the last couple of nights so it might just be the cool dry air giving me nosebleeds but it seems odd that it's the same nostril and feels like it might be the same spot.

Happenings: Haven meeting yesterday and Film club meeting earlier. Haven is struggling to survive. The last two meetings have been very low attendance(like five or four people only one of which was a student and VC). A few years ago I had the thought that I wanted to make this city better for LGBT people in some way. This gay straight alliance is a start.

I won the trivial contest in the Film club meeting by one point with a lucky guess. I got a movie called "Naked Bomb" which stars Don Adams as Agent 86, Maxwell Smart, from the show Get Smart, which I loved to watch as a child.

Media: I've been playing Borderlands and my character is at level 29. I watched Surrogates last night. Its an average movie, not a bad movie but not really great one either.

Writing: none

Gilly

2-21-11

Last week I was fighting depression. I'm still fighting off black thoughts but I have several projects I'm working on off and on to keep me busy. So I'm coping but haven't been in the mood write posts or anything else.

I've been working on gathering info about getting a blanket license for the college's film club. I've also been working on a proposal for Haven's, the gay straight alliance at the college, first event.

Oh, I haven't written about what happened. Ok, so remember the film club and Haven were going to have screen two movies for Haven's Groundhog's Day Coming Out event. The event was canceled by college administration. They said that the film club was screening movies in violation of copyright laws. In fact the film club has been doing this unaware. Now it could just be a coincidence that when the LGBT club wants to show some movies is when they decide to say we can't show any movies due to copyright concerns but somehow I doubt it.

So now the film club can't show movies which is why I'm working on the blanket licence. It won't let us show any movie, only movies from a list of independent distributors. There are still a lot of movies we can show from them that will be worthwhile.

Besides those things I've mostly been randomly reading stuff online and just trying not to feel too depressed.

That's all for today,
Gilly

1-20-11

Wednesdays post is below this.

Mood: Still feeling better than this weekend and Monday. Almost happy.

What I've been doing: I took about five minutes this morning to do some stretching exercises. Work was... work. I went to the local college's film club meeting. I'm not really in the film club since I'm not a student but I know several of the members so I'm kind of the club groupie. Next month on ground hog's day they are hosting in conjunction with Haven, the college's gay straight alliance, a 'coming out' event. Get it- coming out... ground hog... yeah I thought it was kind of a weak joke too. They will be showing two movies: Rent and The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert in the student center.

What I'm watching: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo tonight.

Writing progress: None.

Reading: Tales of Mu chapter 5.

Gilly