Sunday, November 29, 2009

Ubdate: Still alive

The rumors of my demise have been grossly inflated. I have been offline for most of the past month. Yes it is possible to get online with a Wii, however it is not very conveniant thus my absence.

Due to very unforeseeable events I am now in charge of both the cookie store and the pretzel shop as acting genaral manager until it is made offical(what I hope happens) or someone is brought into the stores and made general manager(what I hope doesn't happen).

Two weeks ago my manager had a lapse in judgement and lost his job. I don't want to say anything else about the matter.

I'm worried about lossing the stores. This job feels so right. Over the past two weeks I've felt stressed out and tired but I've not once felt like not going to work. I love the people I work with and they have shown me that I mean something to them as well. Friday I had a bit of a breakdown out work. The stress plus not knowing what my district manager was planning for the store came crashing down on me. I left a little early but before I left several of my workers, seeing me upset, came over and reasured me that I was a good manager and I was doing fine. I feel a level of acceptance from these people that overwhelms me. I Know tht if I came out to them they would be fine wih it. Some might be confused but I don't think any would quit or misstreat me. I've felt this way for a while now and had been building up the courage to come out first to my manager then the rest of my coworkers. I had hoped that my manager could help protect me from any negative reactions from the regional or district manager. He was LGBT friendly and not one who would fire someone for any reason other than not doing what they were being paid to do. Now I'm alone. I wish could say my entire team would walk out if I was fired for beening trans but I really don't want to put anyone in that position. So for now I've put coming out on hold until I'm in a less shakey position.

It's been a crazy ride from quiting one job to being hired at the cookie store to assistant manager and now acting manager in just over a year. And yet it feels like I'm where I belong. I feel like I'm among family at work. I feel like I never want to lose this and I'm afraid I will.

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