Ok this is going to be a little long and rambley, so I'm going to start with a quick summery. First off I'm doing ok, not great but ok. Second I'm still living in the apartment alone except for my cat. Third the power got shut off Friday morning. Fourth M who wasn't going to move in with the rest of us until January is on board to move in as soon as we have a place. Fifth I really am ok, just in the dark.

For the past week starting Monday I've been living with the fear that the light was going to get turned off. Coming home to see the kitchen light still on has never felt so good. Because the light company wouldn't give me an extension on paying the overdue part, I had planned on praying to any deity that would listen to keep the light on until I could pay it Friday afternoon when I got my paycheck. Friday I was off work so I had planned to wash clothes and then go get my check in the afternoon when they release them. I was just starting to pack my clothes into my bag when the lights went out. Even though the breaker jumps a lot, somehow I knew it wasn't the breaker. I walked down the stairs and to the front door. I opened it and looked to the left where the light meter is and saw the man just finishing up. I said, "Hey," and he said, "Hey, it's getting turned off cause it hasn't been paid." He sounded a little defensive like he's had to deal with hostile people too often. I just nodded and said, "Yeah I know," and went back inside.

I called the light company to find out how much it would cost now with the disconnect and reconnect fee which came to more than I can pay right now. They told me and I was polite and I hung up before I began to cry. Then I had a little break down and wailed to the universe about how unfair it was to let me get so close to being able to pay it and then just dash my hopes like that. I collected myself after only a few minutes and went to wash my clothes.

On the way to wash I stopped to talk with my sister. Yes I'm still on speaking terms with her despite how she left me. It's not something I can explain but even though I know I should be extremely mad at her, it just doesn't feel worth it. She is the closest family I have besides my parents. I grew up around her and have lived with her for eleven years. I've lived with and helped raise her three kids. It's a very strong bond that I don't want to lose. Anyways I stopped and talked to her at her boyfriend's business which is just down the street from where I live and told her that the light was off. After a few minutes I left and walked to the laundry mate.

I had grabbed Voices of Dragons by Carrie Vaughn on my way out of the house to read while my clothes washed. It is a really good book and I'm going to try to write a review of it in a few days.

Walking back from the laundry mate an idea began to crystallize. A plan you might say. I'm going to put almost all my stuff into a storage unit and couch surf until we have a house or apartment lined up. I'm talking with one friend right now about staying on her couch and have a couple of other people I can ask.

In the mean time I'm staying in the apartment with no electricity. It's not too bad. I can do without tv or my x-box. I have books to read. I had to buy an alarm clock that runs off batteries and a small lantern so I'm not stumbling around in the dark. I've been spending my afternoons in Hasting's cafe to use their free wifi and outlets so I'm not cut off from the internet. They're open until 10pm so I can stay there until late if I want.

The real inconvenience is going to be not being able to cook on the stove or even microwave food. I get a free meal everyday that I work at the deli which along with a couple small snacks later enough for me to get by. Days that I don't work I would cook something for lunch large enough to have leftovers for the evening. Now I'm not sure what I'll be doing.

Good news though M, my best friend and co-storyploter is on board to move in with the three of us as soon as we have a place. He was going to wait until January due to family responsibilities but things have resolved themselves. I'm glad he's moving in now and not later. It's been a while since I've had someone to call my best friend. It's hard for me to get close to people but with him it feels like we've known each other for many more years than we have. Since I got fired from the cookie store I haven't been able to see him as often as I used to when we were working at the same place.

That's about everything that's been going on. I know it sounds bad but I'm doing ok really.